I believe everyone has that one thing they mourn understanding what they have longed for in this life, they will never ever have.

I am not talking about stupid material things. Perhaps it is a particular relationship, or approval for your labors, or freedom from drama, or things of more substance.

People will try to help with platitudes or reminders, but it just kind of digs that cross into your shoulders all the more.

I am working through something like that now.

I find the only useful place is at the foot of the Cross and laying what I am mourning there lest the mourning leads to resentment or rebellion. Where do you take your mourning?

There is a lot of mourning out there right now.

For some it is matters within the Church, for some it is matters in our society. I see a lot of that mourning turning into resentment and calls for rebellion. I see a lot of hateful things being said coming from a place a justified hurt.

That said, should not our dealing with such things begin at the foot of the Cross? Why not begin with asking Christ help us to bear our crosses as He bore His Cross?

If I or you must bear a cross, why not bear with the strength, love, and courage with which He bore His? Our rage, resentment, and fury only serve to make our crosses heavier and press crosses upon other people’s shoulders.

We don’t get to fashion a cross to our preferences and desires. We don’t get to choose where that cross comes from. Jesus didn’t…why do we think we should.

Crosses are a way of execution. Our crosses are God’s way of saying our dependence on the wisdom of this world, on getting our own way, and comfort seeking must die so that we depend upon Him. We join the pain of our Cross to that of Christ on the Cross.

To do that means we must learn to bear those crosses as Christ did.

This post originally appeared on Facebook.

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[See also: “Don’t Waste Your Suffering”: 10 Saint Quotes to Encourage You Through Your Trials]

[See also: Pope Francis Drastically Restricts Traditional Latin Mass – Here’s Why & What You Should Know]

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