Do you have a loved one who has fallen away from the faith? Consider turning to the saintly intercession and holy testimony of Saint Monica!
For many Catholic parents and grandparents, watching a child or grandchild drift from the faith can bring a uniquely painful kind of heartbreak.
You may pray for them every day. You may wonder what you did wrong. You may feel helpless when conversations about God become tense—or when your loved one simply seems uninterested.
More than 1,600 years ago, St. Monica carried a similar cross for her son, Augustine. Today, St. Augustine is one of the Church’s greatest saints and theologians. But before his conversion, his path looked very different.
St. Monica longed for Augustine to know Christ. Her husband, Patricius, was not Catholic and did not allow Augustine to be baptized as a child. Later, Augustine left home, embraced beliefs outside Christianity, and lived far from the faith his mother had hoped he would embrace.
For 17 years, Monica prayed and wept for her son’s conversion.
Her prayers were not answered overnight. Yet she continued to trust God, even when she could not see how Augustine’s story could change. Eventually, Augustine encountered Christ, was baptized by St. Ambrose, and went on to become a bishop, Doctor of the Church, and one of Catholicism’s most influential saints.
St. Ambrose famously counseled Monica:
“Speak less to your son about God, and more to God about your son.”
The authors of What Would Monica Do?, Patti Maguire Armstrong and Roxane Beauclair Salonen, wrote from their own experience as mothers and created their book to offer prayer, encouragement, and companionship to others walking through the same heartache.
They shared 5 lessons to learn from St. Monica:
- Surrender your loved one to God
Your child or grandchild is God’s beloved first. Entrust their choices, struggles, doubts, and future to him. - Allow yourself to grieve—but do not lose hope
It is okay to mourn what feels lost: the faith practices you hoped to share, family Masses, sacraments, and a common spiritual life. Bring that pain to Christ, rather than letting it turn into despair. - Release the need to control
Loved ones have free will. You cannot force anyone to return to faith—but you can keep loving them, praying for them, and trusting that God is still at work. - Let love lead
Love must guide every interaction. A child or grandchild who has left the Church should always know they remain deeply loved, welcomed, and prayed for. - Do not put a deadline on God’s grace
St. Monica prayed for years before Augustine’s conversion. God’s timing may be different from ours, but no one is beyond his mercy.
Even when a loved one seems far away, the Lord is never finished working.
St. Monica, pray for all parents and grandparents praying for a loved one’s return to the Church.
Here is a powerful prayer for the conversion of a wayward child, asking for Saint Monica's intercession:
Under the weight of my heartful burden,
I turn to you, dear Saint Monica,
and request your assistance and intercession.
From your place in heaven,
I beg that you will plead before
the Throne of the Holy One,
for the sake of my child, [Name],
who has wandered from the faith,
and all that we have tried to teach.
I know, dear Monica,
that our children belong not to us,
but to God, and that God often permits
this wandering as part
of one’s journey toward Him.
Your son, Augustine, wandered, too;
eventually, he found faith and came to believe,
and in that belief became a true teacher.
Help me, therefore, to have patience,
and to believe that all things —
even this disappointing movement
away from the faith — work ultimately
for His own good purposes.
For the sake of my child’s soul,
I pray to understand and trust in this.
Saint Monica, please teach me to persist
in faithful prayer as you did for your son’s sake.
Inspire me to behave in ways that will not
further distance my child from Christ,
but only draw [Name] gently towards
His marvelous light.
Please teach me what you know
about this painful mystery of separation,
and how it is reconciled in the re-orientation
of our children toward heaven.
O Saint Monica,
lover of Christ and His Church,
pray for me, and for my child [Name],
that we may acquire heaven,
joining with you, there, in offering constant
and thankful praise to God.
Amen.
Prayer Source: Saint Michael Center