Valentine’s Day is an occasion to celebrate love between couples.
As Catholics, however, we know that courtship is not just about hearts and flowers — it is about learning to love God and one another more deeply.
Here are 10 questions to help you reflect on whether your relationship is drawing you closer to the Love that never ends — Our Lord.
1) Does this relationship help you become a better person?
Does it encourage you to study, work hard, and grow in responsibility and discipline?If your relationship helps you grow, that’s a good sign. If it causes you to stagnate or distracts you from what truly matters, be attentive.
2) Are you growing in virtue or bad habits?
Does this person help you become more pure, honest, and patient? Or do they lead you toward dishonesty, vice, or sin? Authentic love inspires holiness. It does not justify sin.
3) When you argue, do you want to win or to love?
During disagreements, do you try to listen, understand, and forgive? Or are you focused only on proving you’re right? Conflicts can help us mature if they are lived with humility and charity.
4) If you got married tomorrow, would you embrace each other’s crosses?
Love is not just about feeling good. It is about choosing to carry life’s burdens together.Can you see yourself walking beside this person through illness, financial hardship, and difficult times?
5) Does this relationship help you love Jesus more?
Since being together, do you pray more? Go to Mass more faithfully? Seek God more intentionally? Or are you so focused on each other that Christ is no longer at the center?
6) Can you pray together comfortably?
Have you prayed the Our Father, the Rosary, or given thanks together after a date?If shared prayer always feels awkward or impossible, something important may be missing at the heart of the relationship.
7) Do you both desire marriage and family with Christ at the center?
Do you talk about marriage, family life, openness to children, and living the faith together?If one of you only wants to “have fun” and avoids deeper commitment, you may not be heading in the same direction.
8) Does this relationship bring you closer to the sacraments?
Are you going to Confession more regularly? Attending Mass more intentionally? Receiving the Eucharist with greater awareness? Or are you finding more excuses to skip Mass or avoid Confession?
9) After spending time together, do you feel peace or confusion?
When you return home, do you feel grateful and at peace? Or anxious, guilty, or unsettled? True love brings serenity, even in the midst of challenges.
10) Would your priest, spiritual director, and faithful friends support this relationship?
If your parents, confessor, or trusted Catholic friends knew everything about your relationship, would they see it as good for your soul? Love that comes from God does not need to be hidden.
Valentine’s Day is a beautiful opportunity to examine your relationship in the light of Christ.
If these questions make you slightly uncomfortable, they are not meant to frighten you — but to help you love more authentically.
The Christian life is a path of continual growth, not fear or excuses.
A truly Catholic love may not be perfect, but it always points toward God, seeks holiness, and remains open to the sacrament of marriage as a path to lasting joy.